#I like the nuance here. is the gender ‘dead’ or is the *gender* dead

[ricciardo133]

July 2018

maxiel, Daniel genderswap, pining, drunken hook-up alluded to

-

Max wakes up slowly, feeling a girl cling to his side in the hotel bed. He can't remember Daniel and him inviting girls over to their shared room to unwind after Silverstone, but they did drink an inadvisable amount. Daniel had drank some noxiously sweet wine that some fan had gifted him. Idiotic, Max had thought. Max stuck to gin, a drink that normally doesn't leave him feeling this discombobulated. He feels wrecked, sore, and achy. He doesn't even feel ready to open his eyes.

The woman beside him stretches and sighs. "Rough night, eh, Maxy?" she says in a familiar Australian lit.

They both freeze.

Max sits up, slapping around the hotel lamp until he finds the switch. He stares wide-eyed at the woman lying beside him, her mass of dark curls against tan skin. Her wide, familiar eyes with that distinctive nose set between. Her hands are flung over her mouth, but Max can still see the right tattoos in the right places, only against different curves.

He glances down at perky, bare tits and soft, wide hips, and then back up in embarrassed shock.

"Daniel?"

"Yeah."

"You're a girl."

"So I've noticed."

Max gets up, starkly aware of his own nudity. He fumbles in the morning light for clothes, glancing at his reflection in the mirror as he pulls on a pair of sweatpants.

He's still quite himself, but the hickeys are new. He didn't know his face could feel this hot. He mentally feels memories from last night brush against his psyche in frustratingly fleeting snippets. Biting down on soft thighs. Warmth and tightness. Hard nipples in his mouth. God, he thinks, we finally did it and I can't fucking remember shit.

He looks back, seeing Daniel is gone. He panics and hustles to the bathroom where not-Daniel-but-still-Daniel stands and assess his body.

"Wow, kinda thought girl-me would have a bigger rack."

"You're taking this well."

"Well, obviously, we're dreaming."

"Hm."

Daniel twists in his spot, watching his reflection as he gives his ass a smack. Max is immediately hard.

"Daniel."

"Max," he echoes with faux shock. "Relax, this is, like, a seriously vivid dream. A horny one at that. I think we boned last night."

Max can't utter a word. He just watches as Daniel feels up his own body, smaller hands drifting over smooth skin. His nails skate along his thigh's tattoos, upwards to drift along fine hair between his legs. Max squirms and feels anything but asleep.

"So real," Daniel whispers.

"Can you maybe put something on?" Max begs. Daniel cocks an eyebrow and smirks. Max feels unnerved seeing his expressions in a feminine font. Daniel's refreshing confidence always made Max feel... too much. Like if he wasn't careful, he could spill over with it all. Watching Daniel now fondle his chest, pressing the small mounds together as he assessed himself in the mirror, Max felt ready to burst.

And they fucked. He turns and heads out to the hotel room.

Life is cruel and this dream sucks and he wishes he could remember.

"Hey, Max, hey," Daniel soothes, coming up behind him and blessedly covered in a hotel towel. "I seriously think this can't be real. Just like...what's that DiCaprio film?"

"Huh? Inception?"

"Yeah, that one. Just a really, really good...weird dream."

"Okay, then hit me." Max walks up to Daniel. He's not used to being this much taller. He feels dizzy again with need, wanting nothing more than to pin the older Aussie down on the bed. To hike his soft yet strong legs over his shoulders. Maybe it'd be fine if they did it again, since it maybe is an impossible dream and Daniel's not a boy right now. Not that it mattered normally. Max didn't care, he just wanted to feel him all over again.

"What?" Daniel smiles, eyebrows knit in confusion.

"In dreams, that's how you wake up. Like, a kick to jolt you awake, right?"

"Oh, right. Yeah, we should wake up."

Max leans closer and turns his cheek.

"I'm not smacking you, Max. Here," Daniel takes Max's hand in his. All Max wants was to knit their fingers together, to feel the way his palm is finally bigger than Daniel's. "We'll do it to ourselves, okay?"

Daniel places Max's hand against his own cheek. He watches the gorgeous woman in front of him mirrors him, hand raised gently, fingertips against the curls that fall so, so long down to the middle of Daniel's back. He'd look so good with hair like that even as a boy. Max thinks to tell him this and stops himself.

"On three, yeah?"

"Okay."

Daniel counts down, in that singsong voice that's his but not his pitch. Max tries to commit it to memory as he gives himself a just-too-painful slap.

And nothing changes. The only thing that changes is now Daniel panics.

"Holy fucking shit, Max."

"Daniel-"

"This is real."

"We'll fix this," Max tries as Daniel starts tearing apart the hotel room. Max glances at the clock on the nightstand while Daniel goes on a heated search for something. "We don't have to leave for the flight for two hours."

Christ. He pictures telling their team anything. Daniel can still race, of course, Max thinks. He'll just need a new suit that fits better. And some adjustments to the car's seat fit. And a good PR statement that, yes, something impossible happened overnight but no worries we'll be set for Hockenheim so don't worry about how this happened.

"This!" Daniel says, leaping up to Max and putting a small card in his hand. "This is why! Read it. It came with the wine that hot girl gave me."

Max rolls his eyes and reads it. He narrows his gaze. "A change, temporary, good for two? What's that mean?"

"Beats me, but read it again. Temporary." He sighs, letting his head knock back. Max stares at the line of hickeys down Daniel's thinner neck, too faint. "I do kinda miss my dick."

"How does it feel?" Max asks despite himself. "To be a girl?"

"Good, I guess." Does Daniel press his thighs together reflexively, Max wonders. He feels pent up and horny again. "Like, I don't mind it, but it'll be hell to buy a whole new wardrobe," he attempts to joke through shaky laughs.

"Maybe that note meant 'two' like in two times," Max says, voice quiet.

All he can hear for a moment is the whirl of the hotel aircon. He watches Daniel's feminine frame, his big eyes and wet lips.

"Can you remember any of it?" Daniel asks, voice barely registering above the whirl.

"Not much."

"And it kinda doesn't count, right? Because I'm not really me right now, so its okay? And you don't mind?"

It can count, Max wants to beg. It can. It can be okay after, too. It can be okay all the time.

"I don't mind. You're hot as a girl." The last three words feel too final. Daniel's shoulders fall as he nods.

"Yeah, a stunner, huh? So, well, we'll take her for one last ride."

Finally, Daniel walks up and pushes Max onto the hotel bed. Max's mind reels as Daniel lets the towel drop. Two breasts in Max's face as he feels thighs straddle his waist. His hands fly up to trace eager lines up Daniel's spine and rake gentle tracks back down with his nails. They both shudder.

"Last time, right?" Daniel says between kisses down Max's neck. Max feels his eyes water. It doesn't have to be. But he doesn't say anything. He flips Daniel over on the bed, body tenting over the smaller frame. And this time, he focuses. He wants to make Daniel feel good. He wants to come inside. He wants to etch every moment deep in his mind, so he'll remember every gasp, every touch, every sigh.

[iamthemaestro]

my gender is dead on a battlefield in 1778

[mediumgayitalian]

fic rec friday 20

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

farm to table by @buoyantsaturn*

“There’s another group of kids here,” she said, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow. “Said they’re looking for the Ghost King.”

I FUCKING LOVE THIS SERIES. NO WORD OF A LIE IM OBSESSED. i got an ask a couple weeks ago on what i see will & nico doing in their futures and i havent answered it yet BUT this series in particular is never what i would have thought for them and yet it fully and completely convinced me. i love the way their relationship is portrayed here, i love the nuances about will's gender, i love them figuring adult demigodhood out! i love the solace family! this series is another one of those stories that i think back to when im writing bc it's so spectacularly done

2. hopeless case by @restinreesespieces

“Nico,” Jason wheezes as he slams the door to the Hades cabin open. “Nico, I think I’m in love with my best friend.” “No, really?” Nico drawls, barely looking up from his book. Or: in which nico is jason’s wingman this time around.

i was sold on the 'jason is a disaster. nico is also a disaster but more subtle about it' like that SENT me 😭😭 such an apt description of their friendship. and leo wearing crop tops bc there's less clothes to burn and jason losing his mind over it is so real and true

3. seize the day by @restinreesespieces

“-Hey, Jason? Are you okay?” “No,” Jason snaps. “You’re distracting me.” Silence. Leo comes forward. Jason’s back digs into the wooden edge of the table. “I’m distracting you?” Leo’s hand twitches, like he’s not sure where to put it. It lingers in the air between them, making a choice. Instead of a friendly shoulder pat or slap on the back, Jason’s fingers are met with the familiar warmth and completion of Leo’s. Their hands interlock, sliding into place as they’ve done so many times before under the cover of darkness. But this time there’s light, and they can’t escape the bright truth that it brings. “How, exactly, am I distracting you?" or: valgrace dead poets society au (with a happy ending)

this fic was so FUN like jason in theatre....ur so absolutely right. loved loved this story it was such a delight to read like who cares about reality what if everyone is gay at whatever time period we wish forever

4. crush the size of jupiter by @restinreesespieces

“Aw,” he joked. “And here I thought we had a connection.” “Yeah, maybe that’s because we’re tied at the ankle, Solace.” Or: In which Nico thinks he can ignore his budding feelings for a certain son of Apollo, and fate decides otherwise.

the flower symbolism had me GAAAAGGGGEED and nico going oh. oh, no had me CLUTCHING MY CHEST SHDNSJDNS. WHY IS HE SUCH A MESS

5. stars on my skin by @restinreesespieces

“Will,” he says, “I think you’re being silly.” “What?” Will tries to hide his confusion, and Nico rolls his eyes. “You’re being silly,” he repeats. “I told you your bedside manner is okay. So why don’t you believe it? Do you think I’m a liar?” “No! I just-” “Hmph,” he huffs, pretending to be miffed. “I think you’re afraid of nothing. Nobody’s gonna be mad if you’re a little enthusiastic about healing them. That means you want to save them! That’s what heroes do.” “I’m - I’m a healer,” he says quietly. “Yeah,” Nico replies. “Isn’t that what I said?” or: after the quest group to rescue annabeth leaves camp, a ten-year-old nico winds up in the infirmary and meets will for the first time.

BABY SOLANGELO BABY SOLANGELO BABY SOLANGELO IM LOSING MY MIND WHAT IF EVERYTHING WAS GOOD AND EASY WHAT IF THE WORLD WAS KIND TO THEM

thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!

[pawberri]

thank you for all the posts you've made, your takes are always so refreshing to hear.

I want to know your thoughts (if it's okay with you, you can also totally ignore this) about all the "men hate" I see online. like I (poc transmasc non-passing) get it, there are genuine societal gender problems. transmisogyny does exist-women face more challenges than men do. but it genuinely hurts when women, especially trans women, think it's funny/quirky to call men trash or say they want all men dead or whatever. idk I just am hoping someone else understands, you know?

There's a lot of nuances to this question. First, I just want to caution against focusing too much on trans girls as the perpetrators of this. A lot of the asks I get from trans men seem to really fixate on trans women as the perpetrators of hard line gender essentialism. I really think trans girls are not the main people we should be focusing on here. If a trans woman is saying this stuff, take the time to analyze her ideology outside of that pithy comment and consider how much trauma and how little power she has in the world. That said, trans women are affected by this kind of ideology just like us, and they rarely have the power to wield it against others in the way cis people can. I know it hurts to feel isolated by your own community, but that kinda gets into my second point.

Part of dealing with this is learning an impulse progressive cishet dude have had to get used to over the decade. Sometimes, "men are trash" or even "kill all men" are not literal phrases. They are things women say when they're in the throes of trauma to vent their frustration. "Men are trash" in particular is generally pretty lighthearted and used to complain when you have a bad date or something. You have to get used to analyzing what someone actually means and airing on the side of empathy. You, as a man, are the one with some amount of systemic power over that woman, so you are the one who needs to prove you are dedicated to not being a misogynist. The same thing happens when my friends say they hate white people. I have to assume they don't hate me given that I'm their friend, but that I still have some of the negative traits of whiteness. I need to care enough to be a good friend by being anti-racist and checking myself on my behavior. I need to be willing to prioritize their comfort over mine. That includes not becoming this meme:

Now that that's established, there ARE times when "all men are evil and should die" is an actual ideology. It's an ideology that hurts tons of minority groups before it hurts the most powerful, but it's also not really great if we assume it only hurts cishet white guys. Following it to its logical conclusion, it just proposes a reversal of oppression dynamics. This gender essentialism is a key part of radical feminism, trans exclusionary or not, but it leaks out of that community to general feminism all the time.

As a young person on Tumblr and Twitter, this deeply affected me. I internalized the idea that you can "just be a girl." It was repeated by some trans girls, but also a LOT of TME people. It was framed as trans inclusive, but it's trans inclusive in the way "political lesbianism" is lesbian positive. It posits gender as a moral choice that is completely up to the individual and unrelated to biology. It's the lazy version of "gender is a social construct." I felt sick and disgusting for wanting to be a boy because tons of well-meaning friends of mine had made it clear that "being a boy" was a choice, and it was the wrong one. "Boy" was a social category that could and should eventually be eradicated. Trans women were conditionally supported because they, in theory, made this future possible. This didn't amount to actual support, of course. It was an ideology mostly spread by afab queer people that mostly benefited afab queer people. There were a few trans girls who spread it, maybe some due to genuinely believing in the ideology and some due to social pressure, but there were also a lot of people straight-up grifting as trans girls who used this thinking to feel powerful in a niche community of teens. Remember fucking Yandere Bitch Club???

At a certain point, I genuinely thought of being a man as an unambiguous moral failing, and I lashed out at out trans men because of it. I wanted to feel powerful, and here was a type of man in my community I could shame and exclude. I still feel bad for making a bunch of ~girls only~ stuff in HS that excluded the one out trans dude at our school, my friend, because he was just a ~binary man~ and leaving him with no friends and no community. I treated transphobia like it wasn't a real oppression on its own and, in doing so, perpetuated transphobia. It happens a lot.

I wasn't really able to accept that there was nuance to the concept of manhood until I read this article while struggling to accept my own gender:

This is a pretty seminal piece of writing. It has its flaws, of course, but the empathy and intersectionality it highlights was life-changing. It also shows that this kind of thinking is largely perpetuated by TME people and hurts trans women greatly.

Gender essentialism is a bad ideology, it's a transphobic, transmisogynist, racist, etc etc ideology. It's literally essential to patriarchy. But it's also very easy to repackage into leftism and easy to dogwhistle. As a result, it's natural to be hesitant when you see someone saying they hate all men, but you have to tread extremely lightly and actually care what they're attempting to express. Because, yeah, men as a social class still hold power over women. They still have reason to fear and hate men.

I'm writing a comic about this stuff, actually, so look out for it in the future..........

[that-stone-butch]

You're kidding yourself if you think you're a real feminist. Men will never defend you the way you defend them.

okay, let's set aside the fact that you're blatantly wrong; that i have friends and loved ones who are men. that men are among the people who, out in the real world, have stood up against homophobia in general and stood up for me in specific. that i have heard genuinely thoughtful and well-intentioned contributions to the greater cause of feminism from real men in my life.

let's pretend you're right. so what? am i supposed to grow resentful of them, and their privilege? am i supposed to try and get one up on them by shit-talking and abusing them to anyone who'll listen? am i supposed to pursue political change that somehow disempowers men?

like, what do you want me to do? what does your worldview actually do? except for harming marginalized men, disenfranchised men, men who experience racism and homophobia? alienating potential allies? if we buy into your childish worldview and believe that all men are evil, that men are inherently a category of people that aren't worth any work understanding or helping, that don't have a place in feminist frameworks of political and socioeconomic theory, then what's the point? should we kill em all? what's your solution, aside from trying to shut people like me down for having nuanced discussion of sexism and the effects it has on people of all genders?

on top of the fact that you're dead wrong that men would 'never defend me,' i see what's up with your reductive bullshit. it's an excuse not to try. if all men are shitty, then there's no reason to try and reach out to them politically, socially, in solidarity or intersectionality.

see, i work with men all day. among them are some pretty cool dudes, and some assholes. people who i would consider my friends, and political allies, and those that i've had to report to HR. because this shit? it's complicated. there are good men and there are assholes, and if you want to pretend that because of a few assholes men as an entire category don't merit nuanced discussion in feminist circles, then you're either an idiot or you're scared. probably both.

you can sit on your ass sending anon hate all you want, but intersectional feminism is out here actually achieving community building and solidarity. i know which worldview i'm putting my efforts into. i will always call out sexism, will always be critical of systems that do perpetuate misogyny and double-standards, networks of behavior and cultural biases that prop men up above people of other genders, but if you think many men aren't going to be a vital part of that discussion, then there's no point to any of this. and that's fucking stupid.

[ghost-bxrd]

GIRL CODED JASON !!!!! HI HELLO OMG TUMBLR USER AND AMAZING AO3 WRITER GHOST BIRD YOUR POSTS AND STORIES JUST ACTIVATE BRAINWORMS IN MY HEAD 😭😭😭😭 holy fuck hi I'm too shy to come off anon but I love the discussions you've been having, so just chipping in !!!

I love the many many looks on how people interpret him being girl-coded, exploring his feelings towards domestic violence, towards victims, women etc, extremely good points that you brought up ! And I'd like to bring up that on a more meta level, the way his character is treated by DC and by people in canon as a whole is also so... girl-coded ? Going to try my best to articulate since eng is my 3rd language 😔😔 Sorry if it's not consise 😭😭 I have FEELINGS AAAAAAAAAAAA

I think the core of this "girl-codedness" stems from a few things, two things I can point to currently are how he's treated as a victim and fridging. Fridging is the easier one to see imo, it's something that's usually associated with female characters but fits Jason a lot. It's not about him and his trauma/pain being feminine inherently (nothing can be categorised in that way honestly) but how it's dealt with by people and the narrative.

Let's take a look at its counterpart which is 'Dead Men Defrosting' trope coined by John Barton. Here's the source for that: https://www.lby3.com/wir/r-jbartol2.html, and a quote from the Women in Refridgerators website I feel is really encapsulates this whole situation.

"...women heroes are altered again and never allowed, as male heroes usually are, the chance to return to their original heroic states. And that's where we begin to see the difference."

Sounds familiar, doesn't it? Additionally, the grief that his death bought is made to be even more objectifying than it should have been. It's made to be Bruce's and everyone else's more than it is Jason's. The image of the dead character is, by necessity, distorted and is served as fuel towards a different character. He's reduced to his death and the pain associated with it is milked for like... 16 yearsish??? A perverted memorial, a perverted memory, an altered legacy. He was just 15. A boy. (Still, I wouldn't say Jason was fridged per say, as the term is created in reference to female characters and they have little to no agency in their stories there, but that 'feel' is there. So I understand where the girl-codedness comes from!)

It’s that the way a lot of characters treat him and a lot of the tropes used on him are things that are typically associated with feminine characters. It's also about how he's treated since he's not a perfect victim. Every attempt Jason has made to express his pain and his anger just gets him labelled as emotional, unreasonable and hysterical (which are again, unfortunately terms associated with women.)

There's many different points people have brought up about Jason, such as his bleeding compassion as Robin, the tears at the end of UTRH, and so on. Nonetheless, I think there's a lot of nuance that comes with gender discussions, since these things are deeply personal to people, and there's disagreements to be had. And that's cool !! There's many points loads of other people also being to the table that I love !! Contradictions too !!

Anyhow, so many cool PPL and analysis these days,,, ILY ANON WHO BROUGHT UP TITANS TOWER (anonanonanon pls chip in again and my life will be URS) Also ILY TUMBLR USER MAGIC-CRAZY-AS-THIS FOR PUTTING THE WEDDING DRESS IMAGERY IN MY HEAD, ALSO ILY GHOSTBIRD FOR THAT AMAZING REPLY AND ANALYSIS,, I LOVE THIS LITTLE POCKET OF COMMUNITY U HAVE CREATED this is so beloved 🥺🥺🥺💞💞💞💞

All very good points!

I don’t have much to add here except perhaps the argument with the memorial case. You’re absolutely right. I never realized how similar it is to the classic hero trope of protagonist mourning their dead love interest/family and dedicating their entire life to a memory of them, citing the actions they take to be in honor of the dead person.

On one hand, I tend to enjoy that trope. On the other hand with Jason, it all became horribly twisted so very quickly and lead to a hard downward spiral of Bruce having a real assholish phase.

But yeah that’s a whole other can of worms better left unopened for now ksksks.

I’m very happy you’re enjoying this blog 💚 it’s honestly super rewarding to hear people say that when it was one of the main goals to have this be a safe and harmonious space for everyone 💚💚✨

[ladyiristheenchantress]

Working with Air

Welcome to the third part of my elemental series! Today we will explore some aspects of working with air like offerings, devotional activities, common lessons, aspects, and more! With all that said lets get started!

To preface: I am a devotee to water itself, I am a west witch practioner which means I work within the domain of water, the past, divination, and psyche! I also am a general elemental practioner and have experience working with all of the elements and their aspects!

What is working with air like?

While looking at verified gnosis and cultural nuance some things remain familiar, things like air being both stagnant and rushing, life giving, and more! It is a major backbone (Much like all the elements are for each other) in the way that all organisms that preform aerobic respiration (Air breathing) need oxygen, air, and a form of atmosphere including water based animals. Air does not have a concept of gender (same with all the elements), however you can always ask as a bonding opportunity or follow a cultural addition that may apply pronouns to an element.

In general, air is primordial, but it is considered one of the youngest of the elements mainly because magma, water, and a form of earth had existed before O2, and an actual atmosphere. With that in mind, the air ended up facilitating a lot of growth here on earth, and from there air has many aspects! Air has tempest, dead air, atmosphere, wind, and breath! There are plenty of types of air spirits like syliphs, Sylphons, Spirulites, and more.

Some people work with wind, air anomaly's like tornados and wind storms, and breathwork. Wind and breath teaches more gentle and peaceful lessons about how to take a step back and take a moment for yourself. Someone who works with tempest might receive more lessons relating to coming into your own power and growing a backbone. Each aspect will have different lessons and personality traits, but each of them still follow the same lessons of balance between motion and pause, and even speaking.

In your relationship you may be called to breath work, using feathers, and more that we will be discussing a bit later, however air is will see us like any other animal, and is more apprehensive to engage in a conversation so practioners may have to call out to it first. UPG: Air is really rushing and sometimes can be overwhelming, and we have had many wonderful conversations relating to hard work, taking things as they come, and not falling into unhealthy stagnation. Air has not been very direct and tends to come as needed into my space and isnt an omnipresent force! In general I have needed to call on it first for information or advice, it is also quite stoic and serious when needed but also upbeat and kind when needed.

Finally, air does have some birth connotations, but they are directly indicative of the relationships it has with other elements. Air cannot do its job in a vacuum like space until some level of atmosphere is established. However 'air' can mean different things to different people, and in a way taking a first breath is life!

What are common offerings?

People tend to keep an altar to air near doorways, windows, and living rooms because of the rush of energy as people walk through doors, the energy of change from windows, and more! historically a lot of air honoring comes from within like being outdoors, having windows open, and doing breath work in a special place because of the motion you can feel from the air.

In air practices there are heavy emphasis on working and action! this comes from most of air needing to be moved to be felt, as often times we dont notice when we are breathing or walking through the precious gas. Moving air like with breath, feathers, and fans can be really helpful.

Some common practices include meditation and breath work, energy motion, dance, song, using feathers, fans, and incense scrying are all really common aspects of work! Another aspect is action, doing divination with clouds, the sky, and smoke is helpful, and then another thing is storm chasing, tracking the weather, and observing the atmosphere can also be really good forms of connection.

What are some correspondences?

Crystals - Amethyst, Angel Aura Quartz, Angelite, Celestite, Clear Quartz, Danburite, Flourite, Green Adventurine, Howlite, Kyanite, Labradorite, Rainbow obsidian

Herbs - Poplar, cottonwood, moss, Aspen, Marjoram, Cilantro, Lavender, Rosemary, Lemongrass, Anise, Oregano, Peppermint, Fennel, Asparagus, Celery, Cattail, Hazel, Almond, Bay, Borage, Frankincense

Colors - green, yellow, white

Energy Centers - heart and sacral

Zodiacs - Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius

Tools - Feathers, fans, incense, and books

Scents - fresh, clean, lively

Resources

Tip Jar

[saintsenara]

🖤, 🤍 and 💀, please!

thank you very much for the asks, anons plus @poetryandbloods-blog!

which character is not as morally bad as everyone else seems to think?

i mean, given the level of reading comprehension in this fandom, pretty much all of them... with snape and dumbledore at the top of the pile.

but i'm going to go for a female character, for fun and profit, and say... petunia dursley.

petunia is - like vernon - primarily a children's literature archetype - the wicked stepmother/aunt/guardian who is constantly trying to assert authority over the child-hero, with very little success. she has to be pretty one-note - shrill and cruel and demonstrably non-maternal [and performatively womanly because she's innately unfeminine] - because it's what the narrative conventions which govern her demand.

but, nonetheless, when we look at her without the restrictions of these genre conventions, there's a lot about petunia which can be used to contextualise her actions in the series with rather more nuance than they're often afforded.

when petunia is - at most - twenty-four, she has no parents, her sister is dead, she's at home all day with one toddler [and she appears to have no other social support when it comes to caring for dudley], and she's just had another toddler dumped upon her in incredibly traumatic circumstances.

vernon appears to be considerably older than her - him complaining in the very first chapter of philosopher's stone about how "young people" dress doesn't make sense if he's in his twenties as well, and i tend to imagine that he's at least fifteen [if not twenty] years older than his wife, meaning that, since they apparently married before lily and james, petunia was twenty-two at most when they tied the knot and vernon was anywhere between thirty-seven and forty-two. vernon is also from a higher social class than she is - and so much about her canon behaviour can be explained by recognising how nervous she is about not disappointing him by revealing to their neighbours that her class-performance is a pretence, rather than something she was born into.

this isn't to deny her agency in her decisions - she is, of course, also confined in a prison which is directly of her own making [the bland domesticity of her perfect little house, all of which is an artifice constructed so she doesn’t have to admit how deeply she once longed to be magic] - and nor is it to deny that her treatment of harry is wrong.

but it's important to note that nothing is completely black-and-white. petunia's cruelty is intertwined with an obvious loneliness - which is only compounded by the twin societal monsters of class and gender conventions.

and she makes a great subject for a nuanced character study, and i'd love to see more!

which character is not as morally good as everyone else seems to think?

hagrid, who is a death eater.

if you had to choose one major character to die, who would you pick?

answered here.

what is a popular [serious] theory you disagree with?

"black family madness".

while many mental illnesses - and the personality traits which can be contributing factors to them - run in families, and while i'm interested in the idea that sirius' depression when he's trapped in grimmauld place mirrors walburga's own after he leaves home in a way which can be thought of as inherited, i really dislike the idea that there's some sort of inherent madness running through the black family like a generational curse.

this fanon attributes anything bad done by a member of the family - especially a female one - to madness. which is obviously an inaccurate and stigmatising approach to mental illness - but which i also think is also a very dull way of examining the cyclical, generational thread of prejudice and restriction which runs through the blacks in canon.

[daenystheedreamer]

why do you dislike fire and blood so much in comparison to awoiaf?

not sure if im reading your ask right cos idk what awoiaf means here 😭 im dumb is it a typo for asoiaf, referring the awoiaf the wiki, or a mistake about twoiaf the original history book from

none of the characters have the nuance and care that is put into ASOIAF because this is a history book and so i just straight up cannot care about them. gender especially gets a huge hit. gender in asoiaf is, while not perfect, a topic that grrm tackles earnestly with nuance. gender in f&b is Bad.

its not even good as a history book! i enjoy the attempt at unreliable narrator and the ambiguity of history etc but in universe, this is a history book written for joffrey and it just doesnt read like that. its so lurid and leering. it IS a lore collection that knows its audience is fans yknow? idk how to explain...

i buck against authority and i know this is grampa and the publishers trying to mollify me. i will not be mollified. i want twow. i dont want more prequel shows. i dont care about aegon iii. jon snow is DEAD and youre telling me to care about aenys i?????? about viserys ii? suck my dick i want lady stoneheart

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

it is fascinating going from queer historical romances written by people like kj charles who have been thoroughly steeped in classic romance novels and mills & boon (if i remember correctly, kjc used to be an m&b editor), but who are deeply concerned with things like consent and nuance and negotiated power dynamics in their books, to actual original flavour heterosexual mills & boon historicals, where it has never occurred to any of the characters to interrogate a power dynamic and consent is... dicey

(don't get me wrong i don't mean to imply that kjc only writes Healthy, Sensible relationships. she writes unhinged disasters where you're like "okay you're terrible and perfect for each other, never involve anyone else in this, thanks". but it's done in a way that doesn't fall into simplistic and unexamined class/status/gender dynamics, and instead feels like a choice those characters are knowingly making bc they are, as mentioned, unhinged disasters)

i can see in these books the roots of the books i've been reading for the last few years but these haven't yet grown beyond the roots. and what's really fascinating to me is that these are like, 2020 releases. i'm not talking 1980s romance here. this is from three years ago and it's all Big Strong Man with his Big Strong Man Hands forcibly kisses Delicate Noble Lady but it's okay because she liked it. Oh No We Must Marry Because The King Said So and he's so strong and tall and manly and she's so slender and delicate. she is swooning off her horse but he's caught her. he's inflamed with passion and he's sexily overpowering her. she doesn't know how beautiful she is and he's tormented by his dead family because he think it's his fault and he needs to avenge them. etc

it's also funny because the romance is very much centre stage and the plot is usually some absurd contrivance designed purely to engineer whatever arranged or pretend marriage is needed, but i find myself entirely uninvested in the romance and much more concerned with a random secondary character's absurd thirteenth century castle inheritance tangle. but the author is never actually interested in the inheritance tangle unless someone can get married about it. kind of tragic to be honest

[menlove]

What do you think lesbians are attracted to in women that lesbians can’t be attracted to in men?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives woman-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait women have that men can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

this is soooo not asked in good faith lol i know ur baiting babe but fine i'll go ahead and answer here <3

first of all idk where u got the idea that i think bi/pan is inborn orientation. ur mistaking me for a gender/sexuality essentialist rather than a bio essentialist and baby i am neither

second of all ur operating under the assumption that i am bi/pan and would fuck all genders and/or sexes. false! i do not care for dick i have never cared for dick i shall never care for dick and funnily enough i am capable of navigating my personal relationships on my own terms without imposing those terms on everyone else or making trans women feel like dogshit just for existing. if someone with a dick ever asked me out and i turned them down i wouldn't have to say "sorry it's because you have a yucky disgusting penis you fucking disgusting human" as so many of y'all love to do when confronted w trans humans, i would simply say "sorry, i'm not interested." and if they decided to keep pressing it or assault me that would be on them being a sexual predator, not them being transgender.

but okay. several things here. first off in the history of sexuality u have two views: essentialism and costructionism. innate vs socially created. in most cases of history, i take the constructionist point of view. with sexuality/gender it is way way more nuanced and complicated than that. i believe the Feelings we have about gender and sexuality are innate (and unique to every individual) but the labels we put on them change constantly over time. you can find this all throughout history and arguing that this isn't the case would be ahistorical and ridiculous. if you think the word "lesbian" existed 300 years ago and ppl you would deem lesbians would call themselves lesbians or conceptualize their sexualities in the same way as you do, you are dead wrong. they probably had very similar feelings, but they were framing it around their cultural frameworks they had at the time. as we are doing today.

the thing about social constructs is that they change. go back to the 1500s europe and it was widely believed that men and women shared one body type that was, essentially, sexless and the same, and that this body grew out of the body women have into the body men had. essentially, men were the more "progressed" body of humanity, but men and women shared the same sex. this... obviously was incorrect and changed. but so is our binary conception of "sex".

which brings me to ur point about animals.... heterosexuality and homosexuality as Acts certainly exist in animals but animals don't have social constructs to give them identities lmfao. and while these acts exist, they often do so in ways we as humans would consider "bisexual" although that's fucking ridiculous because they are animals. for example, often in the wild you will see "lesbian" lions that choose to mate with other female lions only and raise their young with them. wait- how's that work? their young? if animals with no social conceptions can somehow be "pure lesbians" would they not balk at the idea of procreating with a male lion? no, because that's not how it works in the animal kingdom. they procreate with the male lion and raise the young w the female lion and we slap the label "homosexual" on this or "bisexual" on it when neither is correct bc they're fucking lions, not human beings living in a society. similarly a female lion mating with a male lion is not a "heterosexual" lion, it's a fucking lion. we can't ask it "hey, miss lion, if you had the choice, would you solely prefer male lions? or do you like female lions as well? or are you just mating with this male lion for protection?" because it's a lion. ur comparison is outlandish, frankly. we are not animals in that way. the lion is not heterosexual or homosexual, it's a fucking lion that has sex.

anyway... not what you asked and i can hear u now going off abt how none of this answered ur question. ur right! before i could answer ur baiting question i had to clear up some bold assumptions you were making, define some terms and history, and debunk whatever bullshit you wanted to spew about animals for a second there

but to answer your question: sexuality and gender are unique to every single individual on this planet and structured around the society that individual lives in. sorry to tell you that, but it is. so, too, is the term lesbian. even within t//erf circles. "that's not true!" i can hear you shout, "every t//erf defines lesbian the same!" wrong! i have seen: lesbian means only liking people with vaginas but that can't be right because some trans women have vaginas, lesbian means only liking people with vaginas but that can't be right because some trans Men have vaginas and many of you would Not be attracted to them on the street bc many of them do pass as cis men indistinguishably, lesbian means only CHOOSING to date people with vaginas so this includes political lesbians who are attracted to men and bisexual or heterosexual but are politically lesbian, but wait no lesbian doesn't mean that bc i've also seen t//erfs saying any lesbian who makes a joke abt having a celebrity crush on a man is clearly a bisexual in denial sooooo that would preclude political lesbians too, oh okay so maybe lesbian means only liking people BORN with vaginas- oh shit nope that includes many intersex individuals you would not fuck and many trans men you would not fuck as they've gotten bottom surgery.... hm okay i've seen it mean you only like women BORN with a uterus/able to reproduce except oh whoops not all cis women can do that...... uh well it means anyone you can identify as a woman bc you're so good at clocking except- oh no you can't bc there are many CIS butches and CIS masculine women you all constantly mistake as trans women and harass or butches you straight up just think are men (hi! i am a butch read as a cis male in public!) and do not approach on that basis..... erm..... uh oh looks like your definitions suck too, sorry

so... what does that leave us with? if defining sexuality by sex is harder than it looks and defining it by gender is harder than it looks, what do we have?

well, like i said, it's an individual experience. most of the time, people are going to choose words and communities that resonate with them for whatever reason. for some people it might be bc they have grown up not liking penises in a world where they were expected to. for others it might mean growing up liking just Women in a world where they weren't expected to. for others it's liking non men. some others just like how "lesbian" feels on them and nothing else fits right. "lesbian" communicates something to people and it communicates a community that they feel a part of.

your conception of your sexuality and gender is not the same as anyone else on earth now or anyone in the past. and that is okay. communities and labels ARE human constructs. that doesn't mean they are unimportant and it doesn't mean humans are "innately" bi/pan (i sure as fuck am not lol i've never "innately" wanted to suck a dick and it's felt very "innately" bad when men have been interested in me). but what it does mean is that if you ask any lesbian what being lesbian means to them, you are going to get a different answer. even within your strict community where you think you have one definitive answer, you will have people that disagree with that.

there is no "indescribable trait" women have over men. but neither is there some concrete "yes THIS is the ultimate way to describe (human feeling)". human feelings are infamously hard to describe and label and we do our best with social constructs and human made terms, but we are always always going to fall short. you can do the same with race and wealth and ability and ethnicity and history and and and- something being a social construct doesn't make it not real. it just makes it complicated and messy and not so easily defined. and that is perfectly okay and if you are going to dwell on this planet with other human beings you're going to have to get used to that, sorry to say

so what is a lesbian? a lesbian is someone that tells you they're a lesbian and you say "okay" and don't ask for their life fucking story about why they call themselves a lesbian or how. it's none of your fucking business. whether they agree with you or they don't, it is way easier to just move on and keep defining yourself how YOU want and letting others define themselves how THEY want

[counttwinkula]

hi i have been obsessed with your “the monster’s body is a cultural body etc” post since i saw it like a month ago. do you have any book recs where i can read more about this, like, forever. (I’m aware of your podcast I’m checking it out too) <3

i'm glad you liked it, it's an honor to introduce the people of tumblr to cohen's seven theses

first and foremost i would recommend The Monster Theory Reader, ed. Jeffrey Andrew Weinstock, which includes several seminal essays including:

"The Uncanny" by Sigmund Freud

"The Uncanny Valley" by Masahiro Mori

"Approaching Abjection" by Julia Kristeva

"Horror and the Monstrous-Feminine: An Imaginary Abjection" by Barbara Creed

"The Monster and the Homosexual" by Harry M. Benshoff

i would also recommend the book in which Cohen first published his seven theses, Monster Theory: Reading Culture, ed. Jeffrey Jerome Cohen

(i must admit that i haven't gotten around to reading either of these books in full yet)

aside from the essays mentioned above, here are some foundational texts for monster theory but not specifically about monster theory:

The Uses of Enchantment by Bruno Bettelheim

Mythography: The Study of Myths and Rituals by William Doty

Vested Interests: Cross-Dressing and Cultural Anxiety by Marjorie Garber

monster theory/horror criticism texts i've read:

Monsters in the Closet by Harry M. Benshoff

Skin Shows by Jack Halberstam

Murder Most Queer by Jordan Schildcrout

It Came from the Closet, ed. Joe Vallese

Horror by Brigid Cherry

Men, Women, and Chain Saws by Carol Clover

Dark Places by Barry Curtis

The Dread of Difference, ed. Barry Keith Grant

The Monster Show by David J. Skal (SEE NOTE BELOW)

Darkly: Black History and America's Gothic Soul by Leila Taylor

The Ghost: A Cultural History by Susan Owens

and some others i own but haven't read yet:

Dark Carnivals by W. Scott Poole

Phantom Past, Indigenous Presence: Native Ghosts in North American Culture and History by Colleen E. Boyd and Coll Thrush

Queer for Fear: Horror Film and the Queer Spectator by Heather O. Petrocelli

Pretend We're Dead: Capitalist Monsters in American Pop Culture by Annalee Newitz (just started this, already love it)

Theatre and the Macabre, ed. Meredith Conti and Kevin J. Wetmore, Jr.

and i can't neglect to mention The Monster in Theatre History: This Thing of Darkness by Michael Chemers

before i say anything further i want to give one warning. my particular interest is on monstrosity and queerness (probably evident based on some of my recommendations). monster theory and horror criticism have generally been rooted in psychoanalytic theory, particularly as it has been interpreted through a feminist lens. unfortunately, this leads to a lot of arguments and interpretations that are sex essentialist and fail to address gender with the necessary nuance. this is particularly true in Men, Women, and Chain Saws and The Dread of Difference.

(Vested Interests is… complicated. it's not monster theory exactly but cohen cites it. garber is generally better than the others mentioned here in her consideration of trans people but her work can still be uncomfortable.)

i have a lot of reservations about recommending The Monster Show. i loved reading it and i think skal has great analysis. somehow, however, in the middle of his discussion of how marginalized people have been historically monsterized in american culture, he has the audacity to cite The Transsexual Empire by Janice Raymond, the ur-text of TERF ideology, and skal uses this text to monsterize trans women. it's disgusting and reprehensible, and if the rest of the book wasn't so strong i wouldn't recommend it

the best medicine i have are texts by trans people. It Came from the Closet is an anthology with several essays by trans people, i adore it. i am forever obsessed with Gender Outlaw by Kate Bornstein, which isn't exactly monster theory, but i would say it's monster theory adjacent and i wish everyone would read it

and if you haven't, you must read "My Words to Victor Frankenstein Above the Village of Chamounix: Performing Transgender Rage" by Susan Stryker. (see i even put a link to that one. drop everything and read it now)

alright if you're still with me i have a couple other things to put out there:

the docuseries Queer for Fear, available on Shudder, is incredible and i'm obsessed with it

she seems to be inactive these days but @draculasdaughter has a lot of posts quoting texts and articles on monster theory/horror criticism that i highly recommend

i've only seen the jacob geller videos on this list but i mean to watch this youtube playlist of video essays about horror, fear, and dread

and i also keep a #monster theory tag on my blog that has various posts on the subject, some funny and some earnest

[rabbitsrams]

I see a lot of girl!dad and boy!dad schlatt HCs out and I absolutely love them to bits and pieces!

But what about queer-kid!dad schlatt HCs? Like I see some brief of mentions of the kids being gay and schlatt being supportive of that but not really much else.

Like what if his son is into girly things like barbie, makeup, dresses, and is a little bit more sensitive than your average manly man. He’d ofc be sad that his son isn’t interested in baseball or most/any of his machine stuff, but ultimately he just wants his son to be happy and if that means being somewhat of a girl!dad to his son then so be it!

And he’d do the same thing with his tomboy daughter, but he’d be pretty excited if his daughter’s into baseball and/or his machine stuff.

And if his comes out as queer, I feel he will be incredibly supportive… like to that point of it being embarrassing.

His kid brings home his same-sex or gender nonconforming partner? Be sure that he WILL bring out the gun and do vague threats towards the ‘lucky’ kid. Especially if they’re a guy or a masc leaning kid.

Heartbreak? He will be there for every one, wiping away every tear that pours down his baby’s face. Even if his son’s traditionally masc, he’d still do it because he’s doesn’t want his son to bottle up his feelings like he did when he was younger.

If his kids is somewhere in the aroace kingdom? He’d be supportive of that too, I’d feel that if his kid’s on the more extreme end of the aroace spectrum… he’d be more relieved then anything because that’s one less thing that he’d have to worry about.

Kid’s now somewhere under the trans umbrella? You bet you’re bottom butts that he’s gonna get ANYTHING that his precious angel needs! Wardrobe changes? They’re stocking up on all of the kid’s preferred clothing like it’s the fucking apocalypse! Pronouns changes? Will contently correct oneself until he gets it right! Puberty blockers? Gotcha covered! Hrts? Already on it’s way! Top surgeries? Bottom surgeries? Any other gender-affirming surgeries? It’s scheduled as soon as they turned the legal to do so and as soon as the kid shows interest in surgeries! Not interested in any surgeries or hormones? Still will love his baby no matter what they do.

And if there’s bigotry or bigots out there? He will fight everyone of bigots tooth and nail if it means his kid will be happy (even if it means getting the gun out).

And god forbid his kid, HIS FLESH AND BLOOD!!! Is ever HATE-CRIMED!!! He will rain the fury of a thousand suns upon those idiots who decide to hate-crime HIS BABY!!! If he knew the identities of those unfortunate people… let’s just say he wouldn’t be so civil with those ‘people’…. and they’d probably end up dead in a ditch somewhere.

ya…

Anyways! I said my piece here, so feel free to add anything but I think I’ve went over the most important things. -🍓🫐anon

hey there! wow, this is amazing. so nuanced and i so agree! he'd love his kid no matter what. i loved reading this it was super sweet and captures schlatt's essence so very well. well done nonie <3

i'm not queer (i'm a cishet ally) so i'm not really sure if it's my place to continue on this or speak on queer kids' experiences, but i def want to boost queer voices regarding this topic (or anything related to it too ofc). if any LGBTQ+ writers want to continue this, hit my line! tag me in anything or send me an ask and i can read & boost it <3

but i do wanna add a bit to the girly things son and tomboyish daughter part bc that was my brother and i's experience: we kinda had a mix of everything lmao, i was a bit of a tomboy and he was more sensitive and not rly a "manly man" (gender roles who)

his daughter being super into old video games from his childhood and loving the consoles. schlatt being OVERJOYED and playing with her. she gets better at the game than he does lmfao (i'm just imagining mario kart wii idk why)

if she's more crafty with fixing up cars/machines/etc he'd love to help her out. buys her parts she needs and when she's done he's showing it off to everyone

and like i said before, schlatt 100% would go to all of his daughter's games if she was on a sports team ofc

and if his son wanted to get dolls or other girly toys he'd get it for him in an instant and even play with him!!! (my brother would always play dolls w/ me hehe)

also you teaching him how to do makeup (if u know how ofc) if he wants to learn <33

you and your son doing makeup on schlatt and him looking AMAZING. he's SO proud that his son made him look so good :D

lowkey though gender roles don't exist in this household, as long as the kid is happy then schlatt's happy <3

[my-mt-heart]

tldr here - it was very short qa, only 30 mins no questions. norman and melissa hung out and took selfies and signed stuff with as many people as possible before security wrapped it up. neither stopped when the came out the back to their cars.

what do you want to know? you don't have to post this / you can repost it under a cut for spoilers, idc.

pros: most scene time in the first ep is of carol, who's dry wit i missed but is totally back. i like the new character, avi. beautiful scenery, love that it's supposed to be maine. the crowd cheered for carol / melissa, there wasn't like favoritism towards norman / daryl in terms of reactions. fans of all ages / genders / etc.

cons: same character development. she meets someone, she puts on a facade. i was so frustrated carol didn't just tell the truth. i didn't watch the first season out of spite but daryl's scenes.....i really felt like i was watching, like, harry potter and the walking dead. it just felt wrong.

neutral (imo-not significant but feels a little stale / like they didn't try atp): focusing on carol's loss of sophia, call backs to The Barn scene, there's a cherokee rose that symbolizes "hope."

from the qa: norman really hyped up the finale but that could just be to get people to watch. teased "bickering like an old married couple." zabel teased the photos of mel and norm shooting in paris and norman was like, "there's pictures of it on the internet" they know. when they asked melissa what she said on the radio she did an adorable bit about "i want my socks back" or something. she also implied that she's been apart of crafting where the character goes and what's important. dalton ross is very cringe, he needs everyone to know he was the guy to be at the height of the comic-con days (but he wasn't that was hardwick lol). there was a well known rick cosplayer there and people were trying to sneak photos, i think they thought he was andy fr.

plot spoilers: tldr carol befriends a guy, avi, for his plane and convinces him to fly her to france by the end of the first episode to find her daughter sophia, who was in paris with her father ed when the world ended (avi calls her out on this and everyone laughs). she plays on the loss of his son, which melissa says is "awful." i'm not positive bc i didn't watch but i think avi's place is where daryl made the radio call from to cArol but i can't be sure i could be making that up.

it was cool but also gave me this deep bit of sadness? like maybe i'm too old for this and need to move on. it was a little disorganized - they kept removing reserved seating so people kept rushing for closer seats, which left me in the middle of the front section with empty seats in either side of me? it was weird.

Thanks for the writeup! I'm really happy Melissa was so well-received. She deserves that.

Carol falling back on old habits makes me nervous because of how quickly some viewers like to demonize her (female characters are always judged more harshly than men for their flaws). I know she's desperate to get to Daryl, I love that he's her emotional drive, and I trust Melissa's performance will be nuanced, but I'll judge the writing when I get to see the scene for myself.

What is Daryl's arc in 201?

I feel like there is actually a lot of healing left to do as far as Sophia goes, so I'm glad Melissa wanted to explore that. I hope the callbacks/flashbacks with Sophia as well as with Daryl really will help Carol grow as a character. I'm confident in Melissa's storytelling abilities. She's very intuitive. Zabel on the other hand tends to put gimmicks before substance and that doesn't mesh well. If people are saying they can feel Melissa's influence in the episode, that's a good sign. AMC should keep leaning into her vision for Carol/Caryl.

[phuljari]

incoming rant: the robotification of women

teri baaton mein aisa uljha jiya (2024) is among the latest movies in the genre of science fiction romance. it reminded me of an old itv show bahu hamari rajnikant (2016) , while i wasn't an avid watcher of the latter, i knew of it's existence. why did it remind of that particular sitcom? well, mainly because of the comedy. but it also reminded me of similar themes in english movies like ex machina (2015), wifelike (2022), archive (2020) and her (2013), which is surely a bit far fetched considering that in her, the ai never had a body. only a voice.

here, i think it's impertinent to also acknowledge male robots in indian cinema, like chitti from robot/enthiran (2010) and g.one from ra.one (2011) even though he wasn't an actual robot? i don't know if he classifies as one. so let's say, non-human, programming-based male entity (nhpbme). similar to samantha in her, a non-human, programming-based female entity (nhpbfe).

so yes, while male robots and nhpbme do exist in the sci-fi romance genre, it's the comparatively larger robotification of women that feeds the male gaze, and the patriarchy by an extention— which is ultimately problematic.

coming to the movie that i actually want to discuss, kriti sanon's sifra, in tbmauj, is the perfect lover, perfect bahu. why? she knows everything aaru (shahid kapoor) likes and wants. she has no chik-chik or tantrums like other girls. she can make cuisines from all around the world, can access everything on the internet quickly. she has perfect skin, perfect hair. probably doesn't age too. she is the dream girl of a typical man. she doesn't have her own opinions or problems, she serves him and him alone. no family of hers to care about, she can care about his family and their needs. the female gendering here acts like objectification.

the worst part of this movie was that it didn't do anything? since it was a comedy, it didn't delve deeper into the nuances of increasing technological reliance that humans have. i think it was probably meant as a warning— when sifra malfunctions and starts executing tasks that were deleted. but even at that, it fails because urmila's (dimple kapadia) company (so intelligently named) e-robots/robotex (something stupid like that), ends up launching her along with few other robots. only adds a dialogue which meant that you need to handle these robots responsibly. then, what was the point of all the testing they tried to do? placing her in different environments like india, when they don't really end up rethinking the whole idea or putting in more safety features? of course, there's no deeper meaning here. indian comedies don't really have subtext.

but it's perpetuates the same old concept of subservient women. rule-followers and caregivers. an image etched in stone. why do women ask– what do men want? men want this, an ideal version. have always wanted. fuelled by the unrealistic p*rn depictions. do they ever think what women want? aaru so casually tells off his friend who has a wife to look at how pathetic his own life is. he defends sifra's un-emotional response to a situation by attacking his friend's relationship asking if human women are any better?

it reminded me of wifelike (2022) where female robots are curated according to a person's need, a replication of their dead spouse. to love them, to serve them, to help them come out of grief. it's so funny to me how in tbmauj, sifra is shown to retain her feelings, getting jealous when aaru interacts with another woman despite getting reprogrammed; compared to how in wifelike, the robotic version of the human it was based on, always ended up leaving the husband because the human version never loved him.

isn't it interesting how female robots instantly get sexualised, and are depicted doing things that one would never ask their girlfriend or wife to do? these robots happily perform roles that are stereotypically feminine, wife-like. they're invented to put aside their feelings (if they have them) to take care of their human partners'. sifra cooks perfect food, emphasized by how many time aaru fired his maid for not cooking things the way he likes it. she probably doesn't have mood swings from periods because she's a robot. she doesn't eat, doesn't get out of shape. and most importantly, she doesn't age (cue: i'll get old but your lovers stay my age). as if the expectations from women aren't enough, that they're required to age gracefully, or best option— not age at all.

if you still don't get it, let me remind you how siri and alexa also end up on the same side of gender spectrum— female.

so the message is, guys, don't give up on your dream girl! you'll surely find a robot that satisfies all your needs! 🙄

men want perfect women, but women can't be robots. let's stop perpetuating the same image and setting unrealistic standards. real humans have real problems, deal with them.

[kazz-brekker]

ballad of songbirds and snakes movie thoughts below the cut:

if you had told my past self that in 2023 there would be a hunger games prequel that opens with giving hot young president snow a shirtless scene i would have been like "you're joking" and yet here we are

i think not having snow's inner narration like we did in the book made him seem not quite as totally calculating and selfish since we're seeing him from the outside rather than hearing his thoughts

i.e. snow in the movie disdains sejanus at the beginning of the movie yet seems to have a closer relationship by the end, but in the book we know snow actually never cared for senjanus as much as he pretended to

this kind of comes across in scenes like where dr gaul tells him if he retrieves sejanus from the arena he'll win the plinth prize but snow tells sejanus it's because they're friends but not as much as in the book

hadn't seen rachel zegler or tom blyth in anything before this movie but they were both really good, they WERE lucy gray baird and coriolanus snow

kind of loved the uniforms the students at the academy wore. they look rich but also a bit ugly and also i love that it's "diversity win! in the dystopian fascist society skirts are gender-neutral!"

when reading the book i found myself thinking lucy gray's songs would be a lot more interesting in an audio format and it's true, i did like hearing them a lot more than reading

actually i was so into the music that during the scene where mayfair lipp and billy taupe died i was like "noooo go back to the music i was vibing with that song!"

one of my problems with the og hunger games movies is that they kind of decreased the horror by having the tributes all played by adults so i liked that a lot of the tributes in this movie really did look like teenagers

i kind of expected this going in since a movie need spectacle but i wasn't a huge fan of them adding more of a bloodbath at the beginning, the point is that the tributes don't want to kill each other and haven't yet been successfully condition by the capitol to do so

the movie did gain back some points with coral's "i can't have killed all those people for nothing" moment right before she died, and also lucy gray's reaction to watching dill drink the poisoned water

on a related note it is a little hilarious to me how often people in hollywood films will take poison and then immediately keel over dead. the capitol must have the most effective rat poison in the world considering it took out 3 separate people in like a minute each

sort of wish they had kept the part where the capitol was like "yeah one of the tributes had an asthma attack and died before the games, we sent a veterinarian to help but she couldn't save him" because it was such an encapsulation of their attitudes towards the districts

i am glad they kept the part with reaper arranging the bodies and everyone being more horrified that he ripped up the flag than anyone dying, and also dr gaul being like "we must now interrupt our entertainment of watching teenagers slaughter each other to announce that, sadly, a teenager has died"

lucky flickerman doing the weather report in between events instead of magic tricks like in the book does really drive home how mundane people in the capitol find the hunger games

were lucy gray's lines about katniss kind of cheesy? yes. was i here for them? also yes

the addition of tigris saying that snow looks like his father at the end of the movie was excellent

when i was reading the epilogue of the book i went "oh this is going to make a great ending to the film" and i dare say i was right

i feel like i should reread the hunger games books now that i am adult with a developed brain who can actually understand all the nuances